Sincerely, Winter
by rachelquinn
Summary: Quinn Fabray and winter have always gone hand in hand.


**A/N: **Winter is probably one of my favorite seasons. SNOW!

- Theresa

PS. this is probably the cheesiest thing I've ever written, but I'm just getting all the fluff out of my system so I can make room for the angst. Oh yes.

* * *

**Sincerely, Winter**

_Summary: Quinn Fabray and winter have always gone hand in hand._

* * *

A decent snowfall in Lima, Ohio is rare and Quinn Fabray is eight when she's first hit with the realization that snow angels make better friends than anybody she's ever met at school. She enjoys creating the supposed form of something that she has always believed in and there it is, completely tangible on earth.

Of course, angels don't belong on the ground, her sister tells her, trudging across Quinn's perfectly crafted angels.

Quinn supposes they don't...but the snow is white (and angels wear white as well), so Quinn makes more because they're pretty and she feels safer, knowing that she can be surrounded by _something _that won't hurt her.

Most of the time she learns that she just enjoys the biting cold on her cheeks, especially after a particularly hard day at school because it allows her to focus on something other than the tears.

-x-

Winter means Christmas and Christmas means traditions (because the Fabray family is nothing but traditional).

Quinn is initially excited about finally being allowed to help set up decorations in her house for their annual party and she eagerly puts up the mistletoe because her sister said it would bring her happiness.

She smiles as she sees her mother and father kiss as they pass by underneath it and watches as her sister attempts to catch cute boys underneath it as well.

She wants that happiness - that joy - but she's too timid to wait underneath it for that special person to come along, so she cuddles in the chair in front of the fireplace with a book and hot chocolate feeling alone and wishing she could go outside instead.

-x-

It's high school and that means new beginnings. Quinn doesn't get to wear her favorite jackets because she's given special Cheerio-approved attire. It's tight on her skin and she feels like she can barely breathe, but she enjoys the security it gives her.

She learns a lot of new things - including the fact that snow can be a weapon, rather than a comfort.

Quinn laughs and tries to sound mean when some boys throw snowballs at Rachel because of reasons she doesn't understand.

Covered in snow and shivering, but still bright eyed, Rachel Berry looks like an angel - a snow angel and Quinn forces herself to walk away.

Later, she angrily throws her new cheerios uniform on her bed, puts on her favorite clothes before going outside and making snow angel for the first time in years. She has friends now and she has people who _fear _her, but she thinks of Rachel Berry's forlorn expression and she aches, feeling more alone than ever.

She wonders when winters had become so different

-x-

Rachel Berry's birthday is in December. Rachel Berry is _fascinating_ because she's confident and happy with herself - or so it seems - and that's everything Quinn's ever wanted.

-x-

"Merry Christmas," Rachel says brightly, handing her a wrapped box. "I thought you could use it - wouldn't want you to catch a cold. Especially with the baby and all," she adds, almost hastily.

Quinn doesn't know what to say, so she glares stonily at Rachel, who never falters. "Thank you," she says finally because Rachel is still holding out the gift with bright eyes and flushed cheeks. "Why are you doing this?" she asks, accepting the gift slowly. "You don't even celebrate Christmas."

Rachel beams at her. "Because Christmas is a time to give - and I wanted to apologize once more about the chaos that ensued just before our Sectional competition. I never wanted to hurt you," Rachel says quietly, looking upset.

Quinn fiddles with the ribbon for a while because she can't look at Rachel or she might start crying. Baby hormones and all. "Would you like some hot chocolate?" she asks finally. "Puck's out and I'm kind of lon- bored." She's bored, not lonely.

Never lonely.

Rachel's company is nice, though, and Quinn enjoys an unfamiliar warmth. She laughs at Rachel's jokes and stares too long at Rachel while she rambles. They get along surprisingly well and Quinn grudgingly accepts that she's a bit of a raging bitch, so she makes a mental note to tone it down a little.

"Don't tell _anybody_," she says to Rachel, with no real bite.

"If I don't, do you think we could do this again?" Rachel says sweetly, smiling at Quinn.

Quinn blushes and stumbles over her response, making Rachel laugh again.

"More hot chocolate?" she asks quickly, once Rachel is done laughing.

Rachel seems to make winter warmer and Quinn isn't sure if she likes that - or maybe she likes it _too _much.

She likes it so much that she doesn't feel compelled to make her usual snow angels.

-x-

It's well into winter (and almost the end) when Quinn tells Rachel that she got into Yale. She holds the paper out to Rachel and holds Rachel's eyes with her own.

She believes in new starts and she believes in the paper she holds in her hand. Strangely, she even believes that she might get through to Rachel and she smiles at the thought that maybe Rachel won't say _yes _to Finn and _yes _to Quinn. For once, things seem to be looking _up _for her and she as she watches the snow fall down, she believes that things are going to be so much better.

She hopes, at least.

Granted, her happiness is short-lived and she realises that as winter draws to a close, her hopes do as well when Rachel announces she's engaged.

Outside, in the privacy of her backyard, she catches the last few straggling snowflakes on her tongue. She can't remember a prettier snowfall in all her years living in Ohio. It's strangely bittersweet and she mulls over the possibility of not being able to have a happy winter again.

She didn't get to make snow angels this winter and she wonders if she'll start making them again next winter.

Quinn welcomes the biting cold.

-x-

New Haven is so different from Ohio that it's almost frighteningly overwhelming, but Quinn takes it in stride (and limp because she hasn't fully healed) because she loves change and as the weather gets colder, she eagerly pulls out her sweaters, scarves and coffee mugs.

She also gets an unexpected email, from Rachel on the last day of November, asking if she can visit soon.

Obviously, she muses. As if she'd turn down a visit from the girl she'd recently discovered she was in love with.

She settles back down into her couch and cracks open her textbook, but she can't focus on the words because every little thing reminds of her Rachel and how maybe she'll finally get her chance to make things _right_.

They exchange countless emails, each one more detailed than the last. Soon they progress from essay-long emails to hour-long skype sessions and Quinn can practically _feel_ her heart threatening to burst with _Rachel_ because that's the only thing - the only person - she's been able to think about.

When Rachel finally visits, they shriek and leap into each other's arms in the middle of the train station. They link arms and trudge through the streets, giggling and talking as if they'd been friends forever.

(Quinn wishes for a forever)

Quinn shows Rachel her favorite places, her favorite things to eat and reads Rachel passages from her favorite books.

At Quinn's dorm, they cuddle under Quinn's blanket ("Body heat," Rachel says simply) and watch silly movies and joke and Quinn feels like everything is perfect.

Later, when they're both drifting off, Rachel mumbles something about being excited about winter and kisses Quinn's cheek (dangerously close to her mouth), thanking her for a perfect weekend.

Quinn corrects her earlier thoughts - everything _is _perfect.

-x-

Quinn visits New York City during Rachel's birthday weekend - a few days after Rachel's actual birthday - and she immediately doesn't like Brody because he's perfect for Rachel. He smiles at Quinn and even manages to _charm_ her (which irritates Quinn because she has already fully accepted that she's _not _into boys).

He hums a tune and Rachel hums along. Quinn feels so out of place and for the first time she feels _cold_.

Brody excuses himself to take a phone call and Quinn fumbles with her gift because now it just seems silly (why would Rachel want a _snowflake _necklace? she likes gold stars, for goodness sake).

Quinn spent many winters wishing she were perfect, but now - now she wishes she were perfect for _Rachel_.

She hastily stuffs away the box and lamely gives Rachel a sprig of mistletoe, feebly joking that she could - _should _- use it on Brody and turns around before Rachel can see her tears. She wishes she were outside, so she could just-

Rachel holds the mistletoe above their heads (it kind of grazes Quinn's forehead because of Rachel's height) and presses a kiss against Quinn's lips.

Time freezes (at least to Quinn it does, because she's always thinking in terms of the cold).

"I've always wanted to do that," Rachel says. "Since that day you invited me in for hot chocolate. It didn't seem like you were going to make a move anytime soon, so I just thought we'd skip ahead to the part where we cry over the feelings we have for each other."

Quinn can't really say anything because she thinks she might actually start crying, so she tugs Rachel closer and kisses her again.

"I can do that, right?" Quinn asks breathlessly, arms wrapped around Rachel's waist.

Rachel makes a comical expression, somewhere between _are you kidding_ and _YES_ before she pulls Quinn back down for third - fourth -_ fifth_ kiss.

They don't notice when Brody walks back in - nor do they care, really.

Later when they're cuddled by the window, underneath Rachel's blanket (her spare blanket mysteriously disappeared), Quinn gives Rachel her actual gift. Rachel squeals and gifts Quinn with another kiss.

(Also, Quinn apparently gets a full page of acknowledgement in Rachel's first memoir.)

-x-

Quinn sits in a coffee shop, reading her battered copy of _Tuesdays with Morrie_. She's waiting for her girlfriend, who is always consistently late - but it's December twenty-first and Quinn knows that they both want to spend their one-year anniversary on a good note, so she lets it slide (as she always does anyway).

Rachel rushes in, babbling about dumb directors and incompetent stage crew, but Quinn silences her with a kiss, enjoying the feel of Rachel's cold lips on her warm ones.

"Hi," she says. "Slow down."

"You know I can't," Rachel quips, but shrugs off her coat and scarf, settling them on the back of her chair. She reaches over to take Quinn's cup and sip at it before she orders her own. It's a weird quirk that Quinn doesn't really want to question.

Quinn watches Rachel order - the way she speaks so assertively and happily. She takes in the scene of Rachel sitting in front of her and the light dusting of snow in her hair and wonders when she got so lucky - from making snow angels because she hated herself to being with an _actual _angel (currently covered in snow).

"What?" Rachel asks, slightly breathless from the cold outside.

"Nothing," Quinn says, smiling to herself as she drinks more of her coffee. She pretends to read her book.

Rachel forces it out of her hands and stares expectantly at her, a small smile playing at her lips. "Are you really going to read while we're on a date?"

"Wait, this is a date?" Quinn asks, feigning shock.

Rachel swats at her arm, before sliding her hand down to rest it on top of Quinn's.

"Your hands are cold," Quinn murmurs, turning her hand over so their palms are touching. "I like it."

"You are an odd one, Quinn Fabray," Rachel laughs, but scoots over to the chair beside Quinn so she can lean in and kiss Quinn lightly. "What am I going to do with you?"

_Just love me_, Quinn thinks.

She feels like the brightness in Rachel's eyes isn't just from the cold.

Later they decide to go ice-skating because Rachel has apparently never done that before in her life despite having lived in New York City.

"Silly me, I thought you were good at everything," Quinn teases.

"Don't drop me!" Rachel shrieks.

"I'm not even carrying you," Quinn points out. Rachel jumps on her back. "Oh, alright-" she grunts under Rachel's weight. "You're heavy," she mutters.

"You weren't complaining when I was on top of you last night." Rachel says into her ear.

Quinn blushes and tries not to let her legs turn to jelly. She focuses on skating around steadily so she doesn't drop her girlfriend.

"This is nice," Rachel says, sighing happily. She nuzzles into Quinn's neck for a moment before sighing again. Quinn watches Rachel's breath float away.

"Must be nice from back there, lazy bum."

Rachel huffs and gets off Quinn's back. Quinn turns around so she's gripping Rachel's hands. "Just trust me," she says.

"I always have," Rachel murmurs and slides forward to plant a kiss on Quinn's lips. This time they're both cold. Quinn's heart swells.

They skate around a little - or rather, Quinn tugs Rachel around while Rachel shrieks and giggles, then they settle on a ledge by their boots and catch their breaths.

Quinn catches her breath, while Rachel catches snowflakes with her mouth. It's so surreal to Quinn that she's sitting here with the girl she's so completely in love with - and during her favorite season, nonetheless. Quinn feels like bursting with _something_, and looking at Rachel, Quinn realises that Rachel is her everything - the one person who she would die for (and she almost did, she muses with dark amusement).

"Why do you look so serious?" Rachel asks, sounding worried - scared, even.

Quinn stares at her, then leans forward and captures her lips. She kisses Rachel in an almost desperate manner and Rachel senses this. She responds for a moment, but pulls back too quickly. The worried expression hasn't left and she watches Quinn's face uncertainly.

"What?" she asks again. "Quinn?"

"Nothing," Quinn says hastily, before Rachel decides to freak out. "Well - everything, I guess-" She inhales deeply, and then it actually does burst out of her- "I love you," she says quickly and it's nothing like she imagined in her head. She cringes at her hastiness, but she figures she should probably do something about Rachel who's kind of frozen.

"I love you," she repeats and this time, she does it calmly. Peacefully. Honestly.

Rachel blinks at her and for the first time, her mouth moves but no sound escapes. Quinn tries to smile, but now she's all nerves and apprehension, but thankfully it all washes away when Rachel smiles so widely that Quinn fears that her face might actually crack. She grabs Quinn's face and pulls her in for a searing kiss, which Quinn happily responds to. "I love you too," is mumbled through kisses and the beginnings of another snowfall.

"It's snowing," Quinn says dumbly.

Rachel giggles and kisses her again.

(Most people dream of being kissed in the rain, but Quinn dreams of being kissed in the snow)

"I love you," says Quinn, once they pull apart again. "I've wanted to say that since the first time we-" she gestures shyly. She blushes when she sees the amusement in Rachel's eyes.

"Well maybe you'll have the chance to say it tonight," Rachel says playfully, but her eyes darken and tell a different story.

Quinn grips the ledge and she can already feel her body reacting.

They sit together in silence, eyes locked on each other because things are different now - things are better than ever and Quinn really couldn't ask for a more perfect winter.

She's about to repeat her previous sentiment because it's all Quinn wants to do now, when-

"I've never made a snow angel," Rachel says suddenly.

Quinn can only smile. She brushes some snow off Rachel's hat before "I'll show you how, although I don't know why you need to make one."

"Why?" Rachel asks.

_Because you're not alone_, Quinn wants to say. _Because I love you_.

What she says instead is: "Because you're already a snow angel. Mine, specifically."

_fin._


End file.
